By Robert C. Solomon
Romantic love may perhaps commence with sexual ardour, however it is guided and nurtured by way of rules the fanatics have approximately their selves and the realm, in keeping with this collage of Texas philosophy professor. Solomon defines romantic love as an emotional approach that's reciprocal and acceptable basically among equals. A lover might supplement what's top in us, include values we percentage or inspire beliefs we attempt after. In any occasion, love endures basically whilst it forges a conceptual bond, all people viewing the other's lifestyles as essential to entire one's self. during this clever, witty, adventurous essay, Solomon sheds gentle on love firstly sight, even if opposites allure, counterfeit emotion, the euphemism (and act) of ""sleeping together,'' possessiveness, the necessity of fanatics for privateness and the significance of fights in a fit dating. His re-visioning of affection favors Plato's proposal of the merger of 2 souls over Freud's view of affection as sublimated erotic feeling.
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Additional resources for About Love: Reinventing Romance for our Times
And what about the one who says "I still love you" but it's been four years since he first announced that he would leave his wife to marry her. ) Is he lying? Can love play second fiddle and still be love? A friend is devastated in a divorce and within months meets and marries a woman who more than resembles the wife who dumped him. Does he love her? Or is he getting back at or still in love with his wife? Change the case. A man is devastated in a divorce and within months meets and marries a woman who could not be more different from the wife who dumped him.
It is not at all surprising that the texts and theories of the male troubadours-Andreas Capellanus, especially-were typically drawn from the adulterous advice of Ovid. But their female counterparts-Eleanor of Aquitaine, for example-didn't take love and marriage any more seriously (in part because they were almost always already married). THE ELUSIVE EMOTION 59 Much of the history of our changing conceptions of love has to do with the effort to bring together and synthesize the idealization suggested by Plato and Christian love with the very real demands and desires of a couple in love.
Tertullian was not alone in insisting that even to look on one's wife with lust was a sin. Indeed all such desires become antithetical to love, not an expression of it. To Nietzsche's observation that Christianity is Platonism for the masses, we might add that because of Christianity, we now have psychoanalysis. Christian theology may have encouraged and revered love above all else, but it was not erotic love that flourished. Alternative names for love--"caritas," "philia" and "agape"-may have clarified the scholarship but not the phenomenology of the emotion.
About Love: Reinventing Romance for our Times by Robert C. Solomon